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boredom_and_a_blood_red_sky
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Name: Skidd
Birthday: 6/30/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: 69 eyes, APC, AC / DC, The Addicts, AFI, Aiden, Alice In Chains, Alkaline Trio, Apartment 26, Arch Enemy, At the Drive In, Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, Beck, Bella Morte, BLS, Buckethead, Cannibal Corpse, Canula, The Casualties, Children of Bodom, Chimaira, CKY, Cradle of Filth, The Cure, Cursive, Damageplan, Danzig, Deftones, Depeche Mode, Dimmu Borgir, Dir En Grey, The Distillers, The Doors, Dope, Dream Theater, Dredg, The Dresden Dolls, Emery, Evergreen Terrace, Foo Fighters, From Autumn To Ashes, Frozen Regrets, Goo Goo Dolls, HIM, Himsa, Hot Hot Heat, Iced Earth, In Flames, Infected Mushroom, Iron Maiden, Jack Off Jill, Jimmy Eat World, Joy Division, Judas Priest, Kansas, Kidney Thieves, Kill Hannah, Killing Tree, Killswitch Engage, KMFDM, Korn, Lacuna Coil, LDR, Leftover Crack, The Libertines, Local H, Lords of Acid, Manic Street Preachers, Marcy Playground, Marilyn Manson, Mars Volta, Mastadon, Megadeth, Metallica, Misfits, Motley Crue, MSI, Mudvayne, Muse, MXPX, NIN, Nirvana
Expertise: Offspring, Opeth, Orgy, Otep, Our Lady Peace, Pantera, Papa Roach, Pennywise, Pigface, Pink Floyd, Porcupine Tree, Powerman 5000, Primus, Queens Of the Stone Age, Radiohead, RATM, Rammstein, RHCP, Rhapsody, Rise Against, Rob Zombie, Sad Panda, Sam Harris, Saosin, Savage Garden, Seether, Shadows Fall, Shinedown, Silverchair, Silverstein, Skinny Puppy, Slipknot, SP, Son of Sam, Static X, Sublime, SOAD, Taproot, Tenacious D, Tiger Army, Tool, Transplants, Trust Company, Tsunami Bomb, Type O Negative, The Unseen, The Used, V Shaped Mind, Van Halen, Velvet Revolver, Viscosity
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  skidd630
Member Since:
12/24/2003
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| Can I be honest?
No, not yet.
I don't think I'm capable of committing to the majority of ideas and words that come flying out of my mouth at top speed.
In fact, i know I'm not.
Today has been the worst and most memorable day since Carolyn died. I wish she was here, she'd give me advice and push me to make a choice instead of being a pointless median in every relationship I'm in. Maybe if she was here I could've stayed out of trouble, but the past is the past and truth be told, she's not here.
Its me. Just me. Andwillalwaysbejustme.
For now and forever - I'm not even worth Ana's time anymore, she's not bothering to come back - fuck -
I don't even know what honesty is at this point. I've been pushing through and making so many decisions on the happiness of those around me, that I've only proven to myself how unhappy I really am.
Why me? Why have i been infested with this falsified idea of .... everything really
I need Nocturna. I need to go dance, see my friends, and forget about the current situations playing the role of my life. Feeling this empty void return month after month with a preexisting understanding of what weaknesses surround my mind, there's just no way to win.
Honesty?
Honestly, fuck that. | | |
| And its the same cycle day after day Thought after thought Just wishing she'd be there again Other times wishing she would move on to a new attachment The change is either too minimal or too extreme ...and thats why they think youre crazy | | |
| As I walked doors I knew I had to keep it cool. Never let them know that you know... bad idea
My combat boots made that clicking noise as I walked toward that bed... I knew is was going in to fight another battle. The smell consumed me, but I let it pass as I saw her skinny body with access skin hanging from her bed. She looked old, older than she should, but over the years of pain from losing a son and battling cancer for many years, I guess you learn to be who you are and stop bullshitting yourself with makeup and nice clothes... but she managed to put on a smile.
As soon as she say my gray hair walk through the door her foggy gray eyes lit up to a frosted hazel and I knew it was I who would make the pain of cancer go away. It wasnt that easy though... the doctors told her there was no cure for her anymore, they couldnt hope for her..
Me being the young 16 year old that I am played innocent as I danced around her death... its been 2 of the 3 months she has left on this earth but when the doctors have given up, the ones who have all the answers, how do you force yourself to go on?
The last thing she'll see before she leaves us will be that chest in her room... its ugly though, varnished wood thats melting away on the corners, and out the window is a pit of construction that will go on after shes gone.
I know its not my fault... somewhere I know that. Death has come and gone within my life, I myself have been in the hands of it, but was strong enough to push it away falling to my own form of death, but pulling through it all.... but she, damn, she's a strong woman...however time has said enough as it cuts the string that is her life from all of us.
Never let her see your fear, never let her see your tears, never let her know your gonna miss her, because all she knows is that your a beautiful, charming, sexy sixteen year old with the world on her shoulders and you dont know shes slipping away from you.
There have been 2 too many deaths in june alone... If only someone was listening when the ones that cared about them prayed and begged for them to be back... | | |
| I miss you...
When will you be coming back?
Dont leave us... please.. come back
<3 C.A.H. | | |
| Maddie, Skidd, and I are wayyyy cooler than you.
- the words of CAH
God damn...
If only you had woken up yesterday as the eyes of everyone who loved you watched over you... you didnt look like you
Your face was different... But we all knew you were the same beautiful angel we had loved with our hearts and kept close to us.
I hope youre with your dad up there girl... You and him were a team, and if he's watching you and with you... I know youre okay
If only you knew truly how many people loved you, we could have made everything better for you... and im sorry so many people in this world live life who dont deserve it and yours had to be cut so short at the young, adolescent ago of sixteen.
I will remember you always... not just as a best friend... but because you passed away on my birthday... I will live each year knowing that every year i get older, is one more that you left us all here behind... but its okay
Me, Maddie, Ashley, Tati, Adri and everyone else will stick together.
I met Vanessa and Carla last night.. and I will be meeting Phoebe tonight...
We all love you with everything in us, and I just wish I didnt have to say goodbye yesterday as I stared into your closed eyes wondering when you would wake up and laugh at us teling us the jokes on us... but it never came
and thats okay because we love you
RIP - Carolyn A. Hebson- 
"YOU SEE US COMING AND YOU ALL TOGETHER RUN FOR COVER" | | |
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